Sunday, January 23, 2005


D.C. is not New York City. I know that a thousand pot-boiling stories have been written in workshops about the mystical/hyper-realist adventures one can have by just turning down a different street on the way home in New York. Not so much in D.C.

Sometimes, however, you can be greeted with utter random madness, even in the outlying spots like Arlington. The sign above greets me as I walk from my apartment to the Metro station. I would pass it, remark, "Jesus, that's strange. Is it some sort of day care...," and try to remember to go to the website. I finally did. You should, too. In fact, go there, click on the links randomly for a minute or two, and come back here.

I'll wait.

How do you feel? Do you want to know more? You can't, sad to say. Mr. Hummer asks for donations and offers licensing and merchandising opportunities for his creations, but there's no contact information. The sign is just in front of an apartment building, mocking all passerby with a lunatic stab, but you don't know which apartment to bring your questions, your demands, your summons.

Imagine if you stumbled onto that webpage by accident through random weblink clicks. The twisting and turning pathways of the internet lead to strange places and this is no stranger than most.

Now, instead of some isolated node of the electronic world, the origin of this website is two blocks away from where you sleep. The cartoon characters with words stitched across their lips, the theme songs, the very goddamn HummyKids Mansion and the stickers... the stickers... are all within the mind and hard-drive of someone your friends and loved ones could run into if they followed directions to your apartment incorrectly.

D.C. is not New York City, but they don't have a monopoly on rabbit holes, wardrobes to Narnia, and phantom tollbooths.


Blogger qkslvrwolf said...

Oh dear. Now I feel dirty. Truly dirty. And perhaps the scariest part of that feeling is that I don't know why I feel dirty...its as though my mind has managed to brush against the deepest depths of insanity, and though I remain myself, it is perhaps the same sick feeling in the midst of your guts that you might experience standing at the edge of a cliff and looking down into a maelstrom of humming screamers, all staring up at you with grotesque clown faces smiling twisted little smiles.

I think I'll sleep the nightmarish sleep of the psychotic and fearful, tonight.

Thanks josh.


6:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i also feel oddly dirty.

and pity.

its a strange, very unerotic mix. mostly i wish i had never seen such page.

its the word hummer that does it.

but i kind of want some stickers

- Lara

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

upon further review, i am even more wierded out and feel like perhaps this webpage could be submitted as evidence in the michael jackson trial


8:23 AM  
Blogger Josh said...

Sad to say, whether it be because of the weather or because Cthulu has called it back to the Underdark, the sign is no longer there.

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ps - that was me, lara

8:29 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...


You are in violating of the US Copyright laws, please remove the sign with the hummykids art.

The person who put the sign up did not have permission to do so.

For your info., my client, Lee Hummer does not live in Arlington, Virginia

7:15 AM  
Blogger Josh said...

Actually, posting a picture of a sign of a copyrighted work (even if that work was publically displayed against the artist's wishes) falls pretty solidly under Fair Use, since I am not making commercial use of the image, could not possibly cause any confusion as to the actual ownership of the image, and any links I have provided go to the (now apparently defunct) artist's page where he can make all the commercial appeals that he wishes. One could also argue that the picture falls under the protection of anyone who "quotes" something in order to criticize it, but I'm not so pretentious as to think that anyone views my blog as being widely read in the art critic community. I'm sorry it pops up when you google "HummyKids."

8:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This guy a total garbage.
1. He looks like a homeless guy
2. He goes to Office Depot and
spends 8 hours a day making
copies in order to build a web
3. He is a real thief & scammer
4. God knows if he is the real
Michael Jackson ....
5. He lives in arlington, VA
(just come around Office Depot
in arlington and you'll have
90% chance of seeing him)

11:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's baaaaaack.
And creepier than ever, too!

And I've seen him wandering around Arlington as well. He can often be spotted sporting his natty HK T-Shirt in Whole Foods on Wilson Blvd.

Seriously, that guy leering "Hey Kids, It's Hummer Time" at a bunch of pre-schoolers gives me the serious creeps.

Let's all link to this posting using "HummyKids" as the link text!

2:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

now see:

3:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Moved again...

3:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And again:

11:34 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home