The Humanitarian Party
I had an argument with my mom after Easter dinner about immigration and I’m worried that as I get older, I’ll lose my sense of empathy. She actually referred to illegal aliens who came to her hospital without insurance as “those people”, with the tone implying that she’s none to sure that people is the right word. I love my parents and I know she has a stressful job, but beyond some grievous infractions against the Hippocratic Oath I can see a larger separation between the way she and I see the world.
I think my country is interesting because the founders eventually reached for Enlightenment ideals of universal human rights to life and living, but then counted on politics to decide who qualified as a human. You can actually watch the progression of amendments to see who makes the new cut until you get to our current widest parameter for civil activity being set at an 18 year old black woman. Given the current debate, we’re looking at whether we can extend rights in extremis to an 18 year old Mexican lesbian.
The roots of my crippling liberalism lie in my finding this debate to be a waste of time. Here, in this tiny blog read mainly by my lovely girlfriend, are the outlines for a new political force, the Humanitarian Party. The platform is as such:
1. Anyone born of a woman is a human and can never be denied the right to life and family.
2. Anyone who attempts to contravene Article 1 (one) is a criminal and must be prosecuted as such.
Everything else that the party stands for stems from these two statements. It plays out like this: a living wage for heads of household, universal access to preventative healthcare, and no undocumented labor. You, the American consumer, will pay two dollars more for your lettuce and McRib instead of millions more in deficit spending for the enforcement of laws against criminalized immigrant labor. Part of your insurance payment will go into the preventative care pool, decreasing the number of expensive treatments stemming from easily preventable ailments and thereby lowering your premiums. If employers only have documented workers, then several million people instantly start paying income tax where there was only several million paying sales tax before. All the Party asks for is that your employees and their families aren’t impoverished, have time to better themselves, and have a workplace that’s safe for the worker and the consumer. After that, cutthroat laissez-faire capitalism is fine by us.
The Party wants to cut the crap that’s only really good for campaign fund-raising. The Party can end the abortion debate: we respect human life, but abortion can be a lifesaving procedure for the mother or in the case of multiple fetuses. So, the Party will sponsor non-hormonal and reversible birth control, which will be available freely and anonymously. The Party can end the gay marriage issue: they’re not infringing on any other human’s right to marry, so it can’t be illegal to be married to another human. Plus, it will increase the tax base. The Humanitarian Party doesn’t want you to pay more taxes; we just want everyone to pay the same taxes you do. The Party doesn’t care about political correctness beyond the Golden Rule.
Won’t you feel better knowing that the Party will only go to war against countries that are actively conspiring to kill you and pose an imminent threat? That we’ll commission an all-volunteer contingent of the armed forces trained in peacekeeping and emergency management for humanitarian emergencies abroad and a functioning federal level emergency relief group for disasters at home? That the police, firemen, and hospital staff who are in charge of saving your life will have more funding?
Won’t you feel better knowing that you can vote for a third party that will keep your interests in mind regardless of your party affiliation?
The Humanitarian Party: we’re fighting for you, no matter what.
I think my country is interesting because the founders eventually reached for Enlightenment ideals of universal human rights to life and living, but then counted on politics to decide who qualified as a human. You can actually watch the progression of amendments to see who makes the new cut until you get to our current widest parameter for civil activity being set at an 18 year old black woman. Given the current debate, we’re looking at whether we can extend rights in extremis to an 18 year old Mexican lesbian.
The roots of my crippling liberalism lie in my finding this debate to be a waste of time. Here, in this tiny blog read mainly by my lovely girlfriend, are the outlines for a new political force, the Humanitarian Party. The platform is as such:
1. Anyone born of a woman is a human and can never be denied the right to life and family.
2. Anyone who attempts to contravene Article 1 (one) is a criminal and must be prosecuted as such.
Everything else that the party stands for stems from these two statements. It plays out like this: a living wage for heads of household, universal access to preventative healthcare, and no undocumented labor. You, the American consumer, will pay two dollars more for your lettuce and McRib instead of millions more in deficit spending for the enforcement of laws against criminalized immigrant labor. Part of your insurance payment will go into the preventative care pool, decreasing the number of expensive treatments stemming from easily preventable ailments and thereby lowering your premiums. If employers only have documented workers, then several million people instantly start paying income tax where there was only several million paying sales tax before. All the Party asks for is that your employees and their families aren’t impoverished, have time to better themselves, and have a workplace that’s safe for the worker and the consumer. After that, cutthroat laissez-faire capitalism is fine by us.
The Party wants to cut the crap that’s only really good for campaign fund-raising. The Party can end the abortion debate: we respect human life, but abortion can be a lifesaving procedure for the mother or in the case of multiple fetuses. So, the Party will sponsor non-hormonal and reversible birth control, which will be available freely and anonymously. The Party can end the gay marriage issue: they’re not infringing on any other human’s right to marry, so it can’t be illegal to be married to another human. Plus, it will increase the tax base. The Humanitarian Party doesn’t want you to pay more taxes; we just want everyone to pay the same taxes you do. The Party doesn’t care about political correctness beyond the Golden Rule.
Won’t you feel better knowing that the Party will only go to war against countries that are actively conspiring to kill you and pose an imminent threat? That we’ll commission an all-volunteer contingent of the armed forces trained in peacekeeping and emergency management for humanitarian emergencies abroad and a functioning federal level emergency relief group for disasters at home? That the police, firemen, and hospital staff who are in charge of saving your life will have more funding?
Won’t you feel better knowing that you can vote for a third party that will keep your interests in mind regardless of your party affiliation?
The Humanitarian Party: we’re fighting for you, no matter what.
posted by Josh at 2:36 PM
2 Comments:
Hi! I found your Blog and BlogSearch, I think the dialogue on immigration is very important and must be discussed from all perspectives.
With your insights I would love to have you take a look at a mini-series I wrote on the subject and, if you want to, join in the dialogue…
My url is: www.debaterelatepontificate.blogspot.com
Mmmm...bot-o-rific comment.
I'm right there with you. First, people are kind of like children when it comes to the laws that they follow. If you set out a simple set of laws, apply them consistantly and fairly, then they can understand what is acceptable and what isn't and live and prosper without too much difficulty. But, if you lay out a complex thatch of over-reaching, contradictory, and hypocritical rules, you will get a response in kind. People who attempt to use the rules against others, people who attempt to profit merely by gaming the rules...its a mess.
If you tell me that the humanist party also supports copyright and patent as dictated by the consitution, where it is in place for the good of the society rather than the good of the corporation, then I'm in. We can run for president in 08. You can even have the top billing.
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