If They Only...

What the various stranglers of Main Street would be like if they were brothels:

Target- The whores would be stylish, but would fall apart after the first good rain.

Costco- Your friends made fun of you when you bought the family-pack, but they saw the light after that snowstorm.

Wal-Mart- Sickly prostitutes who can't speak English will stomp on an old lady for five bucks.

Sam's Club- Large, sickly prostitutes who can't speak English will stomp on an old lady for three bucks.

BJ's- Writes itself.

K-Mart- Where the scarlet ladies just make everyone sad.